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| photo courtesy of www.catchcheatingsecrets.com |
This was the topic last night on Smack That Talk Radio HOSTED BY! Pink Monkey and Dre Bless
The questions were,
1. what's unforgivable in a relationship?
2. has cheating become more acceptable?
3. Are standards set too low when it comes to significant others?
Here's my thoughts.
Whats unforgivable in a relationship will vary from person to person and relationship to relationship.. there is no cut and dry answer, no right, no wrong answers, its all based off of choice, nature of the relationship, level of commitment, length of time committed, depth of interdependency etc... what's forgivable for one may be unforgivable to another.. and vice versa.. it all depends on you.. whether its lying, cheating, betrayal or disrespect, we all have a threshold and once its met that's it.. we're gone. for some the threshold is 1 infraction, no forgiveness no nothing.. for others its 2 infractions..forgive only once, not twice.. for others forgiveness is almost unlimited.*shrug* people all have to live with the choices they make.
Has cheating become more acceptable??? And are the standards set too low when it comes to significant others, I sure hope not... Cheating is another one of those topics where the factors vary and thus so will the forgiveness.. If we've only been together 3 months and you cheat that's one thing, but if we've been together 5 years that's a whole other thing, there is much more invested. If we are married, have children...that makes it even harder, the state of our relationship at the time... all of those factors SHOULD play a part in whether you forgive a cheater, liar, disrespect-or.. as well as to whether the cheater, liar, disrespect-or is actually remorseful, is not a constant repeat offender.ALWAYS LOOKING FOR FORGIVENESS... For some... cheating is the ultimate sin and the is NO forgiveness... Period..
We have to realize too that even if the title of the relationship is only significant other that doesn't define the depth of the relationship or make it easier to forgive or NOT forgive.. Oh we've been together 6 years, he cheated, but since he's only my boyfriend, I'm out... ummm right.. lie to yourself if you want to... title is not and should not be the factor of what and how you forgive in my opinion.. humans screw up and make mistakes.. some of them should be forgiven, some should not... its a personal judgment call
but I will tell you this, broken trust which is the underlying consequence of a cheater, liar, disrespect-or and is very hard to rebuild honestly I don't know if I believe that it ever builds back as strong as it was before...because you can always forgive, but most people never forget.
xoxo
Carrie Pink
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