What advice would you giv this young lady? Photo

Photo Courtesy of Glamour Magazine

Based on a true story taken from yahoo answers.

I decided it is not that bad to have a baby and not be married....?
I don't know if or when i'll ever get married, although I would love to more than anything in my life. But I want to get married now while I am young (19) and have a baby, so I was in my car driving to class thinking... I don't NEED to be married to have a baby.... I don't need to be in a relationship to have a baby, what if I have a baby first then date the father (or another guy) and then get married... or never get married and just be a young single mom??? I just don't want to wait anymore for a guy, I don't have the time for that.. so I want it now and it may not be that bad of a life.. I would be a really great mom, I just don't want to wait and be old or never get married, like if I am never gonna get married I might as well have a baby young rather than try to find a guy and be old then get pregnant...

Carrie's Response..

Wow, I don't even know where to begin.. my initial reaction... GIRL ARE YOU CRAZY!!! Don't make me slap you.. but we all know that gut punch reaction won't work..

I think if I was talking to this young lady personally, I would have to tell her all about my adventures at 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24  up until I had my first child.. partying until the sun came up, impromptu sleepovers with my girls, ROAD TRIPS, having completely irresponsible moments and having it not affect anyone but me! Working because I wanted to and not because I HAD to!!! All of which she would forfeit having a child at 19 ON PURPOSE....

My college days were by far my best years to date! Fun Fun Fun I had.. in between the study breaks and late nights in the library.. I wouldn't have ever traded them to have become a mom 5 years earlier!

I mean by 19 you haven't even done anything yet, sex isn't even as good as its gonna get yet, you're still learning the ropes! (unless you have hot crotches)  You're barely legal, you just became legal to drive further than just back and forth to school and work and you can't even legally drink yet! (unless you live in Canada)

You have so many good years left, you surely don't want to cut them short for all night feedings and diaper runs..

Being a mom is awesome and is one of life's greatest gifts and accomplishments if you do it right, but only if you feel good about yourself and and have dreams and goals on your radar or accomplished in your own life first.

19 years old, what kind of job do you have? what kind of education do you have? how do you intend to support another human who must, eat, drink, be clothed and housed etc.. How far will your job take you? If your current job where you want to work for the rest of your  career? What kind of lifestyle do you want to be able to provide? What are your own goals what kind of job do you want to have, what kind of money do you want to make, who will help you take care of this baby? Who will babysit when you have to go to work and school? Who will pay for it if your family can't help you?

You say your life won't be that bad, how about having a baby only when you can provide a good life, not one that isn't that bad.. smdh.

This girl just sounds like she's looking for something to do, something to say and something to love.. get a chia pet girl, water it, love it  and watch it grow... that's the only responsibility you need, not a baby.

FACTS: less than 2 percent of Teen Moms actually graduate college before age 30, 8 of 10 teen fathers don’t marry their kids’ teen mothers, and two thirds of the children born into such situations are poor.  -National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy

xoxo
Carrie Pink
Modern Day Supergirl

12 comments:

Jasmine said...

WOW! It's crazy when I sit and think about how at one point in my life I was one of those girls (Pregnant at 18, baby at 19) and I too WANTED a baby. I thought that having someone to love, and love me, unconditionally would make me happy. I love my daughter and never regret having her but I do regret my choice to get pregnant before having a life, before figuring out what I really wanted for my life. I am now a woman of 33, married with two children and while my life isn't bad, it could be better. I'm working full-time and going to school part-time trying to get an Undergraduate degree so I can make enough money to put my kids through college. (It's a running joke that I hope to graduate before my daughter does...) Of course, there are times that I wish I could recapture what I missed in my youth (I was in the military when I got pregnant so I had a short-lived party, dating life) but reality is you can't get back what you lost.
My advice to this young lady would be this: "LOVE YOURSELF. If you love yourself enough you'll know that being a pregnant single mom at 19 is not what's best for you. Experienceing the world and all it has to offer you, gaining education and knowlege about the world and having a career will fullfill your life in many ways. When you least expect it the man, marriage, and kids will come. If they don't then by then you'll be mature enough to take the next steps for motherhood as a WOMAN not a girl of 19."

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