Readiness vs Time Passed in Relationships.

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The other day I had an interesting discussion with one of my guy friends, on readiness vs time passed in a relationship

He says that no matter how much time passes in a relationship you could still not be ready to take it to the next level with who you're with. So just because you've been with someone 5,6, or even 10 years that doesn't mean you should be married to them already or even want to be thinking in that direction yet. He says a lot of couples confuse time passed with readiness and that one does not guarantee the other.

Now in my mind I say, why am I with you for 5,6,10 years if I don't see a future with you? He says you could still be figuring out how you feel about the person 10 years in, and if they're really who you want to be with, if their characteristics are really ones you can live with forever and could just be enjoying your time together in the interim.

My thoughts...sounds like a waste of someone's time...or a way of taking up space/time.....unless both parties agree to this method, but how often does that happen?

Its clear to me after having a similar conversation with another friend who broke up with his girlfriend after 7 years of what he calls happy times, he concluded there was just something missing in her that he wanted in a wife... The crazy part is he knew that from the beginning, he was just waiting to see and enjoying her company in the meantime

Men just seem to operate on a totally different wavelength than women..

Typically we are not waiters, unless we feel you are worth waiting for. So if we can't see you as husband today most of us are not waiting 10 years to see if you will look like a husband later.

Or maybe that's just me, ladies how do you feel about it? Of course there are exceptions to every rule, however its rare that 2 exceptions ever end up in the same relationship.

What do I mean? The man who wants to spend 10 years deciding whether you're really the woman for him, rarely ends up with the woman who wants to spend 10 years deciding whether you're really the man for her.

What usually happens is the woman thinks the man is just stalling or scared so she waits thinking she'll get the ultimate payoff in the end because she's ready already! What she doesn't realize is that she could end up with him never being ready "for her"

We've all seen it happen, a guy is with so and so for 12 years and never even talks to her about getting married, she's always the one to bring it up, he avoids the topic, they eventually break up, and he's proposing to his new girlfriend in less than a year!

So maybe when a man says I'm not ready to be in a relationship yet or I'm not ready to be married yet, understand ladies that he forgot to include the words "with you" or "to you" meaning... I'm not so sure about you yet... That way a woman can know you may think you are waiting for him to be ready, but in reality he could be actually waiting "for you" to be marriage material.

Things that make you go hmmmm.

xoxo
Carrie Pink
Modern Day Supergirl

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