The Build A Man Workshop

Submitted by Shauna..

Here's one for the "Ask Carrie" files. I'd love to see a note ... since you know how to get the fire started. ;0)

Does a woman help define a man? I ask this because I've had more than one man say, "I feel more like a man" when around me. That sentiment scares me now because it usually means I'm dealing with an insecure, overcompensating man. I don't want you to "feel more like a man." You are a man! Is this world beating our men up that much? Is this really our role as women? Cuz I tell you, I'm ready to shut down my "Build a man" store. The upkeep is too expensive.

Well here is my humble opinion for Shauna and everyone else out there who has the same question..

Every man is a "build a man" because you have to customize him especially for you..he's been built to the complete specifications for his mama, his grandmama, his aunties and his ex's but he wont know how to be FOR YOU until being WITH YOU..

The only man who comes ready made and perfect for us all is Jesus.. all the rest need some tune ups and adjustments.. so be prepared and open up your build a man shop.

Does a woman help define a man??? ABSOLUTELY! Is this really our role as women? ABSOLUTELY!
Do we beat up on men too much? ABSOLUTELY!

A man only understands cause and effect, action that breeds results and for them results have to be measurable, so how else can a man measure his manliness outputs except by his works and the responses he gets from a woman???

Men not only want to impress women but they want to make us happy too. They want to be complimented and appreciated just in a different way than women do...

"Babe you are the best, those shelves took you hours to put up yesterday and they are perfect!" (Instead of "gosh all those hours it took you to get those things up and they are still a little crooked!")

A woman that helps a man feel better about himself is motivating him to keep doing for her! If she never gushes over his works he will feel like he isn't doing enough.. And become sad or angry, and do less, because he feels inadequate...

Behind every great man is a smart woman! She has learned how to get what she needs from him without being pushy or a negative nag, but by celebrating him for all the little things that he does, (even if they aren't perfect) eventually to where he's mastering the big things too.

Does this method take work yes! But its much easier to be an angry nag!  Many of us in relationships stilllllll have not mastered this technique when dealing with our men.

I know its a tedious project but its our role and duty as women to be the rib of a man, he needs us to thrive further than he could on his own, so yes in a lot of ways a woman defines a man. The same way a man defines a woman.. co-inter-dependency! If you slaved in the kitchen for hours over dinner and he ate, ran, and didn't say thank you, how would you feel? Or even worse.. smelled what you cooked and decided to order chinese?

I guess every woman just has to decide, what are the limits of your build a man shop? Some women are only willing to help a man thrive in certain areas but not others...  Unfortunately though all men weren't taught all that they needed to be successful, romantic, gentlemen and for that us women have to teach...

Carrie Pink
Pretty World Inc
Modern Day Supergirl

IF you have a question you want Carrie to answer or a topic you want her to address email her at


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