Left to Interpretation

As part 2 of our getting to know ourselves series I want to take the time to acknowledge something very critical and crucial to our development and growth as humans and a vital way to learn more about ourselves by looking through the eyes of others.

What I'm referring to is a tool that we often do not mitigate for its full power, it is a tool that gives us valuable insight into ourselves and areas we need to develop. The tool is criticism and how we each handle it.

Criticism is often confused with hating or bashing and they are far from the same thing.

Hate is typically given by a person who doesn't know you making unsupported and insignificant judgments against you. It is also delivered by people who do know you and act like they love you but are jealous of you, are miserable themselves and just want to see you miserable unhappy or down so that they can rise. They have something to gain by hating, they are trying to hurt you or destroy you.

Criticism is typically delivered by people who love you and care about you. They have nothing to gain personally from sharing their criticisms of you. They are genuinely trying to help you for the betterment of YOU, not them. They are pointing out areas of growth development they can see that you cannot, they are the person trying to tell you your slip is showing before you leave the ladies room.

People brought this up in yesterdays note, they said that most people will not seek criticism because they are afraid to hear the truth about themselves.

The bible says a wise man welcomes criticism for he knows its an opportunity to learn and improve himself. But a fool hates criticism and considers it bashing. He believes he is fine just the way he is and no one can tell him different.

In a previous note I had written that each of us is really 3 people: who we think we are, who other people think we are and who we really are. The three do not always match. They can be similar but the perception of an outsiders eye in comparison to our own eye gives them a scope of vision larger and often a much different picture than we can see for ourselves.

Why is this valuable to us?
Well because we cannot see ourselves so we have no idea what our actions are actually communicating to the world. We can assume but until someone confirms it to us we really have no way to know if the world understands us or misunderstands us.

That's when criticism becomes powerful and valuable. It can teach us a lot about ourselves and how we are perceived to others BUT only if we allow it to do its job.

The way we receive criticism has a lot to do with where we are in lives, our state of mind at that time and is sometimes even twiddled down to who is delivering the criticism.

Wise Confident people who are happy with themselves, trust the person delivering the criticism and are more comfortable in their own skin who are mature and actually interested in their own personal development are much more open to criticism. They see the benefits in analyzing it and understand that at least reviewing the criticism will help them in the long run particularly if they receive the same piece of criticism from multiple sources.

I mean c'mon son typically if 3 people who don't know each other all have the same piece of criticism for you wouldn't that alert a person with common sense to stop, listen, and consider making an adjustment to the interpretation others are receiving from them? Wouldn't you say hey, maybe I need to correct the message I am communicating to the world because its being misunderstood.

A foolish arrogant person with low self esteem low self love who acts high and mighty but deep down may be unhappy with themselves, their life, their situation, one who is immature and doesn't believe there is anything for them to develop, they are fine just the way they are, hate criticism its like the bubonic plague to them no one has the right to criticize them and no one views are more important than their own. Anyone who offers them criticism even from within their trusted circle is rejected, screamed on, just deemed a jealous hater and a basher.

One typical retaliation this type of person often gives instead of listening and thinking about the criticism they have received, will be immediate retaliation against the person, by rattling off a list of all the flaws of the person criticizing them. How does that help resolve the situation?

Its like if someone says hey Carrie your shoe is untied and I respond, yeah? well you're ugly!

Umm. ok.. but my shoe is still untied and I am probably going to bust my ass.

The fool takes years and hundreds of repeated mistakes to learn the same lessons it takes others 1 time to learn...thus this persons life is typically cyclical and full of constant battle. They are always defensive and resistant to change, they are close minded and its typically not until bombs blow up on them that they every stop to question whats going on, often times even then they still continue to ignore the real root of the problem.

They never ask themselves.. How can a person trying to help me better myself be a basher?

Ask yourself which person am i?

Getting to know yourself, you may learn you are a combination of the two. You may find that you accept ciriticism from some people but not from others, and you will not accept any criticism from someone who delivers it with an attitude, but why is that? Maybe they are just sick of pointing out the same things to you over and over, maybe talking to you is like talking to a brick wall? How do you react when someone outside of your circle offers you a criticism? Are you stagnating your own growth just because you don't feel they know you well enough to criticize you??

Do not fret even if you are a fool you may not be at the point where you want to admit yet...I understand, all of us have been fools at some point, well at least I know I have been but once I realized the damage I was committing to my own self and damage I was creating with the persons willing to offer me those criticisms I went from fool to wise... You make that same realization

All criticism is valuable no matter how it is delivered & who its from. It all should have the merit to be reviewed. Its a part of the growing process and the getting to know yourself process. Some criticisms may prove to be more useful than others but they are all valuable to hear and analyze.... its then in your hands to dismiss it or adjust something in yourself..

But if you don't even stop to listen aren't you just doing a disservice to yourself in getting to know yourself? think about it.

Carrie Pink
Pretty World Inc
Modern Day Supergirl


VERONICA said...

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! I have a person within my life who needs to read this and ponder it (as I'm sure we all do to some extent!) Your very insightful Miss CarriePink! Keep thinking and writing!

Carrie Pink, Modern Day Supergirl said...

I hope you were able to forward this note along to them ;)

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