Parenting 101

We're getting serious today peeps. ; )

Today's article will also be featured on Corporate B-Boyisms

One of the most difficult tasks to accomplish in life is being a parent, and even more difficult in my opinion is being a step parent...

There is no coursework, book, or words of advice available that can truly prepare you enough for the world of parenting; it’s just something you have to experience for yourself to understand.

Why? Because becoming a parent is a gamble, you never know what kind of child you are going to get OR what kind of parent you’re going to be.

You don't even know what your baby is going to look like! Each one is different, have different personalities, and react to u differently.

I remember when I had my first daughter; once I delivered I couldn’t wait to see her, I mean you are literally meeting this little person for the first time ever but you instantly love them and think they are the cutest thing ever..

I know a lot of mothers and have yet to find one who thinks at birth that her child is ugly :) unconditional love has begun ;)

Now what makes parenting difficult? Because I tell you it is not easy. Personally I don’t think it’s the physical stuff that makes it difficult, it isn’t the nightly feedings; pamper changing, lack of sleep, or the screaming and crying.

To me the hardest part of being a parent is the responsibility of developing another human being. You are primarily responsible for how this baby turns out as an adult. Their morals, values, mannerisms, mentality, ambition level, laziness level, neatness, sloppiness, dependency, independence, social or antisocial behaviors, outlook of the world, educational achievement goals, all of that are direct results of the things you say and do AND even the things you don’t say and don’t do.
Team that together with place of worship, the educational system, extended family, friends, and media influence; and there you have a total child all wrapped up in a cute little pink or blue package with all the things that will have some sort of impact on them in life.

Knowing that the responsibility is so vast I can see why some parents cower away from it placing the responsibility and their child with family members or even strangers to do it for them. Parenting is a very serious matter, one that should NOT be taken lightly or performed half ass, so to willingly put a child through a life where you choose not to acquire tools to help them succeed and fight your own fears is just irresponsible.

Don’t get me wrong, A lot of parents are not equipped themselves at the time their baby is born with the tools they need to survive as an adult, so how can they give them to a child?  For young parents in particular it ends up being a learning process for both parties, a parent learning to grow up while teaching a child at the same time, surely there will be mistakes, but I can respect those parents who give it their best and try to improve themselves while improving the lives of their children 

What would help parents along the way? In my opinion SUPPORT! Emotional support, financial support, educational support, SUPPORT SUPPORT SUPPORT, Mothers need Fathers, Aunts, Uncles, Grandmas, Grandpas, Cousins, Siblings, the whole gamut! It truly does take a village to raise a child and more people need to realize that every child born today is the future of tomorrow, so even if you didn’t birth them yourself take interest in them, the world you will be leaving behind, and the “who” you will be leaving it to.

When we are all old and grey regardless of whether you have your own children or not SOMEONE’s child will be making decisions for you when you are no longer capable to make them yourself, the nurse in the hospital, the director of the nursing home, the home health aide, the Access-A-Ride driver, the Power of Attorney… don’t you want to feel secure that this child, now an adult was raised well, and will respect you and take good care of you in your old age, not the home attendant who is robbing you, the nurse who neglects you and lets you lay in your own excretions for days, and the access a ride driver who speeds constantly scaring you half to death??

Our generation never seems to think that far ahead, other people’s children are not our problem, and as parents now-a-days we don’t subscribe to the idea that it takes a village to raise a child, we believe our kids are our kids and everyone else should just mind their business…but your child isn’t just your child.. One day they will be someone’s student, and eventually one day be someone’s employee, maybe even your employee.

We have to let go of the selfish attitude that says; A failed child means a failed parent… (sucking my teeth) a failed child means way more than a failed parent, it means a failed community! I can only speak for myself but my greatest adult admirer was not my parents, It was my grandmother! She, who took a major interest in my future, made sure I stayed on the right track and didn’t take any of my excuses!! She is the reason why I am the woman I am today…. For some of you out there it may have been a teacher or a mentor, or even a FRIENDS PARENT!!!

If I can leave you with anything I leave you with this.. Don’t fail to acknowledge all the positive traits you have as a parent or even if you are not a parent that can really have a positive impact the life of someone else’s child, don’t sulk away from the responsibility of being a part of a community that raises a child, and finally don’t turn your back on the youth and say they are not my problem…. They may not be now, but they sure might be later.

Food For Thought

Carrie Pink
Pretty World Inc
Modern Day Supergirls

Carrie Pink is the founder of Pretty World Inc a nonprofit resource center for women who need help navigating and plotting their road map to life! She is also a writer for, a mentor to girls at Ramapo High School, a motivational speaker and a mother of three. Check her out on twitter @carriepink


Anonymous said...

Great post! You should definitely follow up on this topic??


Anonymous said...

Great read! I want you to follow up on this topic!?

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