Out earning him

Written by Little Pink Book, adapted by Carrie Pink

As successful as you are, you've never had a problem with him making more money. But what about when the tables turn? If you've recently become the breadwinner of the family, you're not alone.

The recession has hit men (who have lost three out of every four jobs) the hardest, leaving more ladies to bring home the bacon. But as open minded and progressive thinking as your man may (or may not) be, he may not be as cool with it as he thought he would be – or as you hoped he would. Frustrating? Yes. Abnormal? Sadly, no.

While you certainly shouldn't feel guilty for his insecurities, a little patience can go a long way to make the transition easier on your slightly ruffled partner (and your relationship).

I guess the initial thought of a woman who brings home the bacon and cooks it seems pretty sexy at first, but then it loses its luster for men. They associate money with power and are not interested in losing any ground in that area.

But it's all about finesse, you can actually bring home no bacon at all and still be the head of the household, its all about your level of assertiveness, your confidence, and your ability to ward off insecurities...

As if money wasn't a touchy enough subject, talking about finances could get more emotional since he's now bringing home less money (or nothing). Check out Bringing Home the Bacon: Making Marriage Work When She Makes More Money

The question of the day, Do stay-at-home hubbies really make life easier?

When I was 10 years old, my sisters friend had come over and was talking about his goal to be a stay at home husband.. he was 17 or 18 at the time and he wanted nothing more than to stay at home with the kids and keep house while his wife went out and brought home the bacon.... I thought this guy was the most amazing thing on earth.. lol From then I wanted to be a careerist women and lasso me a house husband to keep the house, kids, and do laundry!!!! lol

By the time I had kids I would never have wanted anyone to stay home with them but me, and no one cleans like me! But when I was young, it sure was a nice fantasy, and a girl can fantasize can't she!!!??

First it became OK, then almost mandatory, for a woman to have a career. Now we seem to have cleared the toughest hurdle of all: making it OK for a wife to be the breadwinner – and for her husband or partner to stay at home.

In fact, it's become a downright common scenario. Here's the math: More than 30 percent of women today earn more than their husbands do, according to one survey. Throw a business degree into the equation and that number soars to 60 percent of women earn more than their husbands.

So, after generations of wives dutifully delivering scotch and slippers to hubby's Barcalounger at 6:15 (and still having the energy to deliver in the bedroom later), aren't we overdue for the switcheroo and all its attendant perks? Are a spotless house, a perfectly prepped cosmopolitan, sexy abs and a little decompression time with Sex and the City reruns too much for a girl to expect?

Probably. Men haven't evolved that far!

But unlike the working men of generations past, it appears women are more likely to accept the bad with the good when it comes to their spouses' domestic performance – and even show a little empathy along the way. (we're just more compassionate, period)

Entitlement vs. Acceptance
"I don't want to come home to a man who's 40 pounds overweight with a big gut," admits New York City interior designer Karen Hartmann. "I want to come home to a hot guy in great shape. A vacuumed carpet and a made bed, and I've had to resign myself to the fact that I won't get everything." Her partner stays at home, teaching martial arts 3 nights a week. But, she acknowledges, "He does make dinner. He runs errands for me during the day, gets the dry cleaning, takes the dog out, washes the dog. I deal with it by keeping sight of all the other things he does."

Patty Leuchten, founder and president of the Avoca Group, a pharmaceutical consulting company in Princeton, N.J., is the mother of three children ages 9 to 14 who have been raised by her househusband, Mark, an artist. She did, had to come to terms with the fact that, with Mark at the helm, returning home to an immaculate house would not be a reality. The solution? The couple struck a compromise and hired a maid.

For Diane Lore, vice president of digital media, GCI Group, the feelings of entitlement had more to do with her paycheck, plain and simple. "I clearly see money as power, and I have had to work hard to temper that emotion at home," her husband, Richard Ross, is the at-home dad of their three children. Lore says, "I catch myself feeling that I should be able to eat out, shop or whatever because I'm the one earning the money. It took some time for me to realize that our common goals were more important than emotional quick fixes."

So although it might be well our turn to expect and demand domestic perfection, most of us are, well, bigger than that!!!!!!

Carrie Pink
Pretty World Inc
Modern Day Suergirl


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