Mothers: Children vs. Partners

Big up to Nelly for taking the first crack at this topic i'mma just go long and pick up where she left off

Often mothers make the awful mistake of putting the needs, wants, and desires of their children ahead of their partner and not just in infancy when its necessary but often well until the kids are 18, 21, 30..... which to me is just ridiculous

Surely putting your baby first from birth to 6 months makes sense because they are helpless and truth be told during that time your partner should be picking up your slack and putting you first making dinner when you can't etc etc

But once you have your baby on a routine and schedule it's time to get back to your life with your partner. That time is different for everyone, my daughter at 3 months was in bed at 7:30 and slept through the night. (love that baby!!)

Mothers tend to extend this period much longer than necessary which is awful because somewhere between 6-12 months babies get smart and start manipulating you and and once you start giving in they start getting spoiled.

Sound crazy? it's not, by 8/9 months a kid knows, if I cry, they will come... So they start to do it even when they don't need you, just to see if it works. It's like a test, like the baby who cried wolf.

I've see it with my own daughters who test to see how far and how much they can get away even as infants. My daughter is 11 months now and she fake cries to get out of going in the playpen walker and crib just because she doesn't like it not because it's bad for her.... Well guess what as a mother it's your job to do what's right and safe for them not always what is fun and free. If I have to cook you have to be confined, why, because it's dangerous if you are not, you might not like it, but its best and safest.

Once they start getting smart and manipulating you go back to putting your partner first, that's the Divine order and it works best. (this assumes that your partner was put first before the baby though)

The Bible says wives honor your husbands, husbands honor your wives, and children honor your mother and father...

Nothing about parents honoring their children....it says raise them

If I give my partner everything that he needs, then as a team we can both tend to the children, but people make the mistake of honoring their children, and put all them first in everything.

If my partner is unhappy, feeling unloved, thrown to the side there will be issues in the house and tension that will be obvious even to the children.

There's no reason why your husband/partner should have to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because your 4 year old doesn't like cooked food, (who's the parent anyway? You eat what I cook or you don't eat!)

There's no reason why your husband/partner can't be intimate with you because there is a 3 year old in between you (umm are you just trying to avoid sex? A 3 year old can sleep alone trust me)

There's no reason to cancel dinner with your husband/partner because the kids don't want mommy to leave them (trust me when they turn 14 and have a choice to go out or stay home with you they will be out the door before you can blink)

There's no reason why your child should be in your hands from the second you get home until they go to sleep in your bed and lay in your arms all night (put the kid down, no wonder they are almost 2 but still can't walk)

We are not supposed to be SPOILING our children anyway, it leads to dysfunctional ungrateful selfish ADULTS and that right there should be seen as a failure for a parent!

Your kid may be acting like their life will be over if you do not get them a glass of juice, come pick them up, take them to the mall, in the next 2.5 seconds, but trust me they will not die,they will be just fine... they can wait and you should make them wait sometimes, because you are the parent.

(and because the reality of the REAL WORLD is NO ONE will be at your beck and call as an adult, you will have to wait OFTEN and a parents job is prepare your kid to live in the real world, not some fantasy that doesn't exist outside of your household)

I see mothers jump as soon as their kids ask them for something, or spend their last dime just so their kids can have the latest whatever, then wonder why they are broke and having problems paying the bills with their spouse... smh...or they haven't been away alone with their partner in forever or don't feel like they know their partner anymore... smh

I guess it all depends on the level of peace and happiness you want at home. Children do take a lot of work, but its much easier to handle them as two happy people than only one.

xoxo
Carrie Pink
Pretty World Inc
Modern Day Supergirl
As a mother of 3 my partner still comes first!

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