Top 10 Traits of a Real Man!

 

You may not be quite the man that you think you are. Let Mr. Mafioso set you straight.

After reading this article by Mr. Mafioso I immediately asked him if I could share it and adlib it Carrie Pink style of course. It was featured on ASKMEN.com

To build a great house, you need a strong foundation upon which to assemble all the other pretty things. (teehee, build your own Pretty World. sic. -Carrie) To build a great man, you also need a solid foundation upon which to add all the other little things that set the real men apart from the stronzos -- let's not piss around, the stuff inside matters most.

Over the last few years of writing this little column, I've learned that too many men have no foundation, no basis on which to build the principles I teach. There are many ways to define a man, and different people have different definitions, so I'm going to skip all that crap and tell you the only thing you need to know: My way is the correct way and that's it, that's all. Capisce?

First off a real man READS!

If you don't agree, go find a comic strip or a bumper sticker of some guy from Arkansas who thinks owning a pickup truck is what defines a man. You'll see how far you get with his advice.

Trait #1: A Real Man is Strong
 A real man makes decisions and lives with the consequences. A real man accepts responsibility for his actions and his words. A real man is firm. If life is a b*tch, a real man will slap it and move on. A real man is the backbone of his family

Carrie Says: I agree with the above, but I do not agree with the below. He included this as the rest of Trait 1. I think a real man needs to be comfortable with himself to understand his emotions and feelings, even if its only in private or with his wife/partner. Holding back what is natural, expressing pain, emotions and complaints will only leave you stressed and ready to burst!!!

A real man is macho; a real man is tough; a real man doesn't show emotions. and doesn't have time to be weak. If spiders scare you, you'll never be a real man.A real man doesn't cry, doesn't moan, doesn't complain, doesn't get sick, and doesn't need to go to the doctor every time he sneezes.

Trait #2: A real man is focused
A real man knows the difference between what's important and what isn't.

A real man focuses on power, money and family. He doesn't focus on sex. Sex comes as a result of having power, money and a WIFE.. <<--- he said it, I didn't! -Carrie ;)

Trait #3: A real man knows the importance of family
A real man will keep his family strong and pass on his ancestors' history and traditions. A real man knows that his children are God's gift and should be treated as such.  If you have a Family, don't forget where your loyalties lie and who has your back when you need it most (ahem..cough cough -Carrie)

Trait #4: A real man doesn't gossip
A real man keeps his mouth shut. He shelters information and rations his words.

Trait #5: A real man's word is his bond
When a real man makes a promise, he keeps it. If he can't keep a promise, he doesn't give his word. A real man would rather die than break his word. A real man knows that his words are as powerful as his actions, and that they must be taken at face value. That is why he rations them (see above).

Trait #6: A real man strives to be a role model
A real man respects himself and others at all times, unless, of course, he has been disrespected. A real man sets an example for his disciples, and especially for his wife and his children. A real man sets the tone for his children and protects them from discovering that he has weaknesses.

Trait #7: A real man makes his own fortune
A real man doesn't settle for handouts or charity when it comes to his personal fortune. A real man isn't satisfied with papa's money. He spits on Lady Luck and decides his own destiny. A real man who inherits goods from his forefathers takes his inheritance and turns it into 10 times what it was.

Trait #8: A real man doesn't look like a woman
A real man doesn't have piercings and long hair, and he doesn't shave his chest. Manicures, however, are acceptable. Massages from female attendants are also tolerated. A real man knows that, outside of his barber, all his personal hygiene needs must be taken care of by a woman.

A real man has at least three suits (with a mandatory pinstriped one) that cost more than a roomful of escorts. A real man wears a suit at least three times a week. Any man who doesn't know how to tie a tie should hand in his testicoli immediately.

Carrie says: ehhh.. price is not as important as presentation! Just look good in your suit,it doesn't matter how much it cost!

Trait #9: A real man keeps his house in order
Have you ever been inside the boss’ house? There ain’t no pizza boxes sitting around, there ain’t no undershirts on the floor, and there sure as hell ain’t no unpaid bills being used as beer coasters. No ruler can rule over a territory if he isn’t already the master of his own home.

This means you lazy pinheads out there need to stop using machismo as an excuse to live like a bottom-feeder; keep your sty spotless, keep your documents in order and -- listen up on this one -- clean your freaking suits.

Carrie Says- Thank Goodness.. NO IT IS NOT NATURAL TO LIVE LIKE A PIG JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A MAN!!! There's nothing hotter than the scene in Hitch, Eva Mendez goes to Will Smith's house and it is SPOTLESS, everything is on point, no broken doorknobs toilet seats or cabinet handles!!! 

See what you've done? I'm turning into freaking Moses over here... (love it, keep going Mr M -Carrie)

Trait #10: A real man can defend himself
You know what’s missing in the world today? Leaders who have had to fight their way to the top. No joking, look at the head of any business that’s circling the toilet bowl, and I’ll show you a boss whose parents' power over him and money kept him from ever learning things THE HARD WAY.

Every successful capo has been on the wrong end of a beatdown -- be it with words or be it with a set of A. Testonis. But those future capos got up again and again, until they knew how to stand their ground… ON THEIR OWN and that, my students, is when you can start to climb the ladder.

lesson over

So what have you learned here today, class? You learned that you have a lot of homework to do before you can call yourself a real man. A real man is the essence of manhood because, by definition, he has achieved the pinnacle of his role.

KUDOS TO MR. MAFIOSO!!

xoxo
Carrie Pink
Pretty World Inc
Modern Day Supergirl

Don't Look Back!

or you'll be turned to stone....

Step into your future free from all the burdens of your past.

If it were true that looking back would turn us to stone or a pillar of salt how many of us would be able to not do it?

I'm sure some of us question our own ability

Not looking back is such a difficult concept yet the most mentally freeing

A lot of people feel like their past protects them, but when you keep reliving the past all you are doing is making your past your new future

The past is heavy, it's deep, it weighs you down, Living in the past is like gearing up in your full knight armor just to go to the bathroom, it's totally unnecessary.

We have to learn to let go and walk forward without looking back

People look back out of fear of the future, becaude the future is uncertain and not guaranteed

But the past we know already and if things that happened in the past happened again we would know how to deal with them better than we did the first time. In essence we are more prepared to relive our past than we are to step into our futures

What a scary thought! You can just keep reliving your past over and over!! Because its what you have the most experence with and are most prepared to deal with! Again.. yet better..

Wow... I'd rather not.... and Im sure some of you would rather not either, the past is the past and thats exactly where it needs to stay!

Drop the armour, free yourself from the pain hurt and disappointment of your past, you do not have to carry it with you to the future.

Extract the lessons, but leave the incidents behind!

This is something so hard to do because when we are hurt in some way we sit and stew on how bad we felt, making us feel bad all over again even though the incident was 5 years ago, we aren't just holding on to the lesson we are holding onto the incident too. So if we end up in a place or with the person who caused the pain or hurt we are mad, so mad, hurt and angry all over again,  as if the incident is happening right then and there..

We give them unnecessary attitude and coldness because we are still carrying the hurt and pain as if its a fresh wound. Like pulling the scab off a cut. It never heals properly. You never healed properly, because you didn't allow yourself to...

How do we break the cycle? First within ourselves we have to find the source of the fear and tackle it! Ask yourself, What am I afraid of exactly? Why won't I forgive this person and myself for this situation?  What do I want to accomplish by holding onto the situation? How will my life be better if I forgive, and will my life be better if I don't forgive?

Look for hope and faith in the future, believe there is something greater for you in the future BUT the only way for you to get it is by letting go of the past. Its like a security blanket for us, if we ever want to go to a big girl or big boy sleepover and avoid being embarassed we have to leave the blankie at home! Don't we? it's the same thing.. You will never grow, never move forward, never find and test your strength. You have to step out with the faith that there is not a cliff ahead! And even if there is something will catch you!

No one is saying to forget, your total experiences make you who you are, but forgive because when you do you not only set your offenders free but also yourself from the bondage of the hurt and pain you experienced.

The LOVE DARE says, if you woke up and found yourself in the middle of a prison with the key right next to you, and all of the prisoners in this prison were every person who hurt you in your life, every situation that brought you pain, and the stipulation of using the key to free yourself was that it would automatically free all of them too.. would you use it? or stay in jail and suffer with them forever.

"Bag lady you're gon miss you bus, you can't hurry up, cause you've got too much stuff dragging round those bags like that! dont miss your bus, PACK LIGHT!

xoxo
Carrie Pink
Pretty World Inc
Modern Day Supergirl

Do You Suck?

Chris at www.HowNotToSuck.com wrote a great article called, "You probably Suck at Relationships" Here are his thoughts, ad-libbed by Carrie Pink

Raise your hand if you've ever been in a relationship.Now lower your hand if you are currently in a relationship that has lasted more than 3 years. If your hand is still up, you probably suck at being in a relationship. If it's not up, you may still suck at it anyway.

Now I know what you're thinking: you're thinking "you don't know me, who are you to tell me I'm bad at being a boyfriend or girlfriend?" Well, most people you suck at it because nobody's ever told them how to not suck at it. Until now.

Carrie Says- Think about it? Did anyone ever sit you down and say this is how you survive a relationship? This is how you should act when s/he acts this way, this is how you should feel? Nope. relationships are literally trial and error, that's why they are so much work. Trial and error until you get it right. It's tough figuring out another person. They don't react the way you expect and don't answer the way you want, its the joining of two unperfect people trying to find common ground and connections together. Writing it all out it sounds almost impossible, but if people can do it for 50 years plus, then so can you.

Back to you Chris!- The key to a healthy relationship, professionals will tell you, is communication. They are half right. The other half is what I'm going to start with, which is knowing when to keep that fly-trap of yours shut, and when to nut up and take responsibility for effing up. I'll begin with an example from my own life. I recently made two serious mistakes with my girlfriend in under a week. The end result? No change at all, because I'm not a moron.

Guys, when you screw up with your girlfriend there are three things you can do. You can try to shift responsibility to her, you can try to minimize its importance, or you can be a effing man, nut up, and apologize. If you do the first, you're giving her the right to slap you in the face with a waffle iron for being far too stupid for anyone's good.

If you're a good boyfriend, you know enough to shut the hell up when she's telling you what you did wrong, and if she's right then you apologize for it and make a mental note to not do that thing again. Incidentally, apologizing is often followed by sex, so even if you didn't screw up it's sometimes worth apologizing anyway, but you didn't hear that from me. (LMFAO! This guy is sharp!)

When I screwed up, and she told me what I'd done and why she was upset, there were several places where I could have said things like "but if you were done anyway, what's the problem?" or "but I was going to do it eventually" or "that's rubbish" I didn't say those though, because that would have been me trying to PLAY DOWN THE IMPORTANCE OF HER BEING HURT!(Chris is crazy insightful, WOMEN HATE WHEN MEN DO THAT) Instead I stopped and thought about it, realized that it was an ass thing for me to do, and I apologized for it.

Now, the other side of this is when your girlfriend thinks you screwed up but you didn't. In that case you look at what you did, realize you didn't do anything wrong after all, and say so. Women, if your guy does that, it's your job to decide whether you're the one who needs to apologize (which, again, is often followed by sex) for accusing him. If neither of you think you should apologize, then whichever of you doesn't really care about the outcome should GIVE IN, because it's clearly important to the other person.

Take it from here Carrie- There goes a new term, GIVE IN.. what does "give in" mean? It's a synonym for SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE, we talked about pride yesterday and how terrible it can be for your life. Pride is deadly to a relationship as it is to your personal development, growth, and blessings.Sometimes even when you are right, or just feel like the other person is wrong you have to just give in because resolving their hurt feelings is more important than trying to prove a point!

Egos and Pride do not belong in relationships. Save them for your friends and your job. Your partner should be the person you are most vulnerable with, most humble with, most truthful with and you are able to do all of these things because you also feel the most PROTECTED with them. Once you don't feel protected, then you don't trust them with your spirit, and feel that things are not genuine from the,. you won't allow yourself to be vulnerable, humble, or truthful. You will be busy protecting yourself FROM YOUR OWNPARTNER..... Who wants to live like that? Might as well just have a jump-off

Do you see how one emotion can snowball affect the outcome of your entire relationship and your life?  You shouldn't be playing games with your partner, say what you mean and mean what you say. No testing them to see if they will do what you want or get upset to see if they will show they care. We are all adults. Ask for what you want. No one is a mind reader, male OR female for that matter...

Chris says- Now, back to communication. You need to know when to shut up, but you also need to know when not to stay quiet. I know someone who lost his family because he and his wife weren't communicating well. You want to know what eventually happened to him? He swallowed his pride, nutted up and admitted his part in it, she admitted hers, and they're back together doing fine now.

If you want to be happy in your relationship, and there's something stopping you from doing that, then tell the other person what's wrong so they can effing fix it! And if you're happy in your relationship but you suspect your partner may not be, ask them what's wrong, because if you don't know about it you can't help. If you are unhappy in your relationship and your partner doesn't know it, it's your own damn fault for sucking at communicating how you feel.

Make sense? Hope so. Don't Suck!

xoxo
Carrie Pink
Pretty World Inc
Modern Day Supergirl!

Sacrifice and Submission

Part 7 of getting to know ourselves... the ability to show Submission and Sacrifice. Its a major part of life. However most people don't truly understand either one.

Men and Woman have major problems submitting and sacrificing. We are such self centered creatures and so egotistical no one else matters more than ourselves and no one else is worth being put ahead of ourselves.

Some women even have problems sacrificing for their own children let alone another adult!!!! I'm sure all of us know at least one mother running the streets, leaving their kids with Tom, Dick and Harry, just so they can hang out with or lay down with the other Tom's Dicks' and Harry's...

Submission & Sacrifice needs to be a part of our lives if we intend to funny enjoy everything truly intended for us. For those of us who are spiritual and follow a faith. We know that submission and sacrifice is a major part of our "walk" toward divinity. Most of us know the requirements but our pride and ego's lead us to resist.

We know that the actions of this world are not things we should be doing for the sake of others or the sake of the world, but for the betterment of our hearts and to be favorable to our God.. whichever God you serve.

Here are my notes from yesterday, and after watching "The Invisible Woman" this week, it was a perfect complement to Nicole Johnson's message. Obviously the reveals I was receiving last week are still being revealed. Thank you. Here's to another phenomenal service at Allen Cathedral!

Carrie Pinks' Notes from the sermon by my SOROR Rev Elaine Flake!

When you sacrifice you lay down the need to get your own way.

People often spend days, weeks, and months upset just because one little thing didn't go their way. they stay mad at things that shouldn't have even been an issue.

Most people cannot and will not deny themselves anything for the sake of someone else.

People who can deny themselves for the benefit of others recognize that it's not all about them, and that the earth doesn't revolve around them, or the sun does not set on their behind.... lol (C.P ad lib)

But how can you conquer your self?

By being willing to submit to others.

Submit- to give over or yield to the power or authority of another

Most people RUN from submission, because it leaves them very vulnerable, more vulnerable than they are comfortable being. It also leaves them in a position to be taken advantage of if you submit to the wrong things.

The best part of submission? It definitely humbles you! It checks your ego, it checks your bad attitude, it keeps you from being reduced to unethical arrogant behaviors

If we can take authority over small acts of sacrifice in our life we will be awarded victory over larger things in our life in time. Do you believe this to be true? Most people don't thats why they don't submit or sacrifice. They live in the now as if today is their last and they deserve ALL it has to offer.

Sacrifice- the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.

There are going to be things in life we need to do, just for the greater good, not for our personal good, not for other peoples expectations or benefits, but for the greater good and divinity we seek.

Nothing transforms us more that the sacrifice of self. The denial of things we love and our own comfort for a higher purpose.

Some of us has missed tremendous opportunities because of our arrogance and stubbornness. Opportunities to serve and sacrifice, opportunities to submit. But our pride stopped us.

There are often times when we think we want something and we think it will be the greatest thing ever for us but once we get it, it isn't that great after all. In fact its pretty terrible and we wish we could take back ever wanting it to begin with.

Sometimes we put stumbling blocks in our own way and in the way of others.

It's very hard to curtail your own personal freedom and worldly desires for the sake of the greater good, but when we do that's when blessings flow. When we CHOOSE to deny ourselves for the greater good. Even when others don't understand what we are doing and think we are crazy to deny ourselves material things or experiences.

To claim our divine purpose in life we often have to do some radical things, to step into radical living, and have radical faith.

Even when what is acceptable for others we want to be acceptable for us too and we want to be able to do what others do or have what others have, sometimes its just not us and we need to accept that and move forward. We need to understand that the level of expectation for us to submit or sacrifice may be bigger than what's expected from someone else. Sometimes we don't get access to things that we think we should or things are taken from us that aren't taken from others. That's why its important to not watch others and their situations.

When you are in radical living, you stop caring about those superficial things. Your personal comfort is less important than the greater good. You understand that personal inconvenience just comes with the territory!

Sacrifice and Submission mean, I don't have to, but I will anyway!

Lean not on your own understanding people. Your purpose is bigger than you!!

The strong must bear the infirmities of the weak. Such as dealing with people you don't have to deal with, helping people you don't have to help... when you are not required but do it anyway, it helps humble you!

Pride- is the downfall of the church
Arrogance- is the downfall of Christians
Self-Centeredness- is the downfall of those in ministry

You have to step out and not follow the crowd. If everyone is skipping out on service to sleep in on a Sunday you tell them stay home if they want to.. I don't have to go church every week but I do it for the greater good, to not block my own blessings, by going above and beyond what is expected of me.

The more we sacrifice and submit, the more blessings we will receive in the long run.

We are all called to be wounded healers. None of us are perfect, so flaws and all still come, flaws and all still submit and sacrifice, flaws and all forgive others who hurt you! Don't let negative people in the church and outside of it keep you from your divine calling and relationship.

If you hold the door open for someone and they don't say thank you, keep it moving, but just use that as a reminder to always say thank you when someone holds the door open for you!

Sacrifice and submission do not seek recognition and neon lights, they relish in being anonymous. Suppress your pride and arrogance.

Yes things will happen that are unfair, but you have to hang in there.

You need HIM more than you need money, more than you need a new job, more than you need a man or a woman.

All it takes is faith. The size of a mustard seed.

xoxo
Carrie Pink
Pretty World Inc
Modern Day Supergirl

Today's Seminar Investing for Dummies ; )

Temperament Management

The final part of our 2 week getting to know ourselves series is identifying what your typical temperament is and how you can manage it if its not exactly what you expected.

Take the quizzes below: The first one is an in depth 122 question personality test, the bottom 2 are fun 10 question quickies. (beware I got 2 different temperament types using the 2 fun quizzes)
http://www.personalitylab.org/tests/ccq_self.htm

http://www.blogthings.com/whattempermentareyouquiz/

http://quizilla.teennick.com/quizzes/2637600/noaction

What did you learn about yourself? Particularly if you took the 1st quiz?

Look over the results and self assess yourself, as you were answering the questions were you surprised at the answers you were giving? Are you aggressive? Do you get upset easily? These may be clear indicators that you need a temperament check, you need to adjust those things that may end up affecting your physical health and happiness in the long run.

For some if us temperament is just a natural inborn way for us to be. Others have conditioned themselves to pleasantness or unpleasantness based on the people around them or the environment they are in. It might be time to change your situation so you can in fact change your life and the way you live it!

Don't be miserable and angry all the time just because everyone around you is. Find your own joy, Find your happiness and relish in it. Misery loves company, so not only are the people who made you that way happy they are not alone, soon you will start trying to make happy people miserable with you!

In my experience it seems like the power of unhappiness and misery is so strong it can overcome happiness much easier than happiness can overcome misery. It will be easier for a miserable to suck the life out of a happy person before a happy person can make a miserable want to be happy.

Why is this so? I personally think its because it takes way more energy and effort to be miserable than it takes to be pleasant, so if you are exerting more force and using more energy you will win the battle, like in arm wrestling. If I just sit there happy with my arm up, I'm going to lose against the person who puts all their weight into knocking my arm down..

Need to work on adjusting your temperament?

http://www.exforsys.com/career-center/attitude-development/how-to-adjust-your-attitude.html

http://www.4temperaments.com/change.html

Happy Trials!!

xoxo
Carrie Pink
Pretty World Inc
Modern Day Supergirl

Don't forget tomorrow is the Pretty World Inc Monthly Seminar @ 11:30am INVESTING FOR DUMMIES Guest Speaker will be Manyell Akinfe from Optimum Capital! She will be presenting "What's In Your Purse!" Watch us live on www.USTREAM.tv/carriepink OR email AskCarriePink@gmail.com for location details if you live in the NYC area!

A $1 and A Dream

Part 5 of the getting to know yourself series.

If you played the lotto with a dollar and a dream, what would you do with your winnings?

Grab a pen and a piece of paper and give yourself a lotto jackpot of $50 million dollars.

Who would you help, what would you buy, and what causes would you support.

There was a show on last night about this very topic. So many of the winners went broke. Spending and spending and spending without ever creating a plan for themselves.

Others kept their regular lives, and their day jobs and saved the money for special occasions.

Many made foolish investments, lost relationships with vital family members because of greed, and selfishness and almost lost themselves in the process.

You see, just because you want something doesn't mean you will know what to do with it when you get it. This goes far beyond money. For ladies it's also finding that right man or fellas finding that right lady. It's finding your dream job, or your dream house, or even being in the most perfect place on earth at what you thought was the perfect time.

Without a plan for your life you can lose the very things you have ever wanted and finally received. You need a plan of action to keep it these things from slipping away.

Just like winning the lotto unexpectedly, without proper preparation and education, you can find yourself right back where you started.

Yesterday we talked about reading self awareness and self help books to help you handle the problems you have and as a mechanism to get to know yourself better.

But what do you do to ensure these same problems don't show up again?

You plan.

AND

You practice.

These are your only two defenses to avoid relapse. Relapse to bad credit, relapse to bad relationships, relapse to bad jobs, relapse to being broke, you plan plan plan plan plan.

And you don't leap through your plan either. You baby step. The Journey of a thousand miles starts with only a single step. Don't worry about the finish line, it's coming, you just keep on keeping on out there towards your goal putting one foot out in front of the other every day.

xoxo
Carrie Pink
Pretty World Inc
Modern Day Supergirl